Ten years ago, Ropani was pregnant with twins. She was 19, and while she and her boyfriend didn’t know much about birth, they were excited. At a second trimester ultrasound, Ropani learned that her pregnancy was high-risk and she needed a cerclage — a minor surgery that places a band around the cervix to prevent early dilation and premature labor. A week later, contractions began despite these efforts and Ropani went into labor prematurely. Born at 20 weeks, Ropani lost her twin daughters, Laila and Zaniyah.

Alone and uninformed  Throughout this ordeal, Ropani felt alone. “I was in so much pain. I hadn’t seen my doctor after the surgery and she wasn’t there when I was in labor. There were new doctors at the birth and the nurses seemed like they were just there to do their job.” The absence of emotion from her care providers didn’t make her feel safe nor informed. This experience shaped her view of maternal healthcare and the need for a better model; one that addresses the emotional and educational needs of patients. Today Ropani wishes that she had a doula by her side during her pregnancy and while in the hospital giving birth. The experience of being pregnant and losing her babies, without much support, fuels her doula work today.

From Uganda to nyc  Ropani was born in Uganda and is from a Sudanese family. At 9, she and her sisters moved to Salt Lake City, Utah to live with family after their mother died. She describes her childhood in Utah as being sometimes magical and at other times filled with heartache. As a young adult, she found her way to Fargo, North Dakota before moving to New York City in 2020 — just weeks before the global lockdown.

Community-centered work  Now living in Washington Heights, Manhattan, Ropani is a community-based doula for the Citywide Doula Initiative (CDI), the largest city-funded doula program in the country. CDI provides free birth and postpartum doula services to qualifying New York City residents while offering training, mentorship, and pay to its doulas. Ropani supports clients in and around her neighborhood, allowing her to easily commute to prenatal visits and hospitals.

Do you know what a doula is? In addition to working as a community-based doula for the city, Ropani is a hostess at Sylvia’s — an iconic Harlem soul food restaurant known for both the international tourists it attracts and the locals who’ve eaten there for generations. “Serving people is what comes to me naturally,” she shared. “My customers say that they really like my calm energy. They come back to the restaurant all the time asking for me.”

Ropani says that her managers and coworkers at Sylvia’s are all very supportive and impressed by her doula work. “A lot of my coworkers didn’t know what a doula was before meeting me.” She seeks opportunities to talk about doula care with pregnant customers too. “I'll ask them, do you know what a doula is? And if they’re curious, I’ll hand them one of my fliers.” She hopes these conversations prompt people to consider their options for care and support. 

Ropani looks forward to a day where every pregnant person knows what a doula is and can access one through their insurance. “We’re basically like a walking dictionary for women. We’re there emotionally and physically for them while also carrying all of this knowledge about birth including navigating hospitals and their policies. It’s a very important job and it needs to be better recognized.” 

Here’s how Ropani describes one late-night call that turned into a 19-hour labor filled with unexpected twists, heartfelt connection, and a little improvisation:

A late night client call  My client calls in the middle of the night to say that her water has just broken and for me to meet her at the hospital. This comes as a surprise because her doctor told her a couple days before that she wasn’t dilated at all and we assumed that her baby would come a few days after his due date, not a couple days before.

Getting dressed and a quick meditation  Before leaving my apartment, I meditate to level myself. I’m a very emotional person and I want to feel ready to support my client who might be emotional too. I get dressed in warm and comfortable clothes and pack extra just in case. Hospitals are always cold.

Setting the tone and mood  I arrive in the hospital room, introduce myself to the nurses, turn down the lights and turn on my battery operated candles. I find a Youtube channel with soft music and play that in the background. 

My doula bag  I always have a peanut ball and some affirmation cards with me. I like to give the affirmation cards to dads or partners. Reading the cards is an easy way for a partner to be supportive. My doula bag has labor reference books and a notepad too. I also pack a few snacks and goodies for the room. I love carrying roasted cashew nuts and vitamin D water to a birth.

Wow, we’ve never seen this before  The nurses are impressed with how I’ve made the room more comfortable for my client and the way I’m talking to her. One nurse says, “I wanna give birth in this room.”

An unexpected prayer  Late into the labor, my client starts to feel frustrated, over it, and wants to give up. So I do something that I’ve never done before. My intuition tells me to ask if we could pray together. The client says, “Yes, please!”, so we do. The connection that I had with this client made it feel okay to ask if she’d like to pray. I’m glad that I followed my instinct. After praying, she refocuses on the labor and gives birth soon after.

Aww, your oxytocin’s rubbing off on me!  There was so much love in the room after the baby was born and placed on the mom’s chest. My client was very much in love with her son. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. I stay for a few more hours after the birth to make sure that mom and baby are settled in and doing well before I leave.

An Uber fail  I leave after having provided 19 hours of support to my client and discover that my phone died. I’m too tired to take the train home, so I put my hand out to hail a taxi — which I’ve never done before! I tell the driver where I’m going, that my phone’s dead, and ask if he can wait for me to get a card to pay for the ride after arriving. He says, “Yeah, I trust you.” 

The birth high and then the crash  I get home, take a shower and am getting dressed as my best friend is just waking up. It was early the next morning and she was like, “Girl you were gone since the day before.” I couldn’t help but to tell her all about the beautiful birth I’d just witnessed right then. So I told her everything and then I just crashed for the whole day afterward.